All my slay queens gather around! Detty December is around the corner and as the soft girl that you are, you can’t be seen wearing old clothes. Miskay is already grabbing you by your neck with their outrageous prices. N14,000 naira for only one dress? Haaa! when you didn’t bag Dangote. Modern problems call for modern solutions, it’s time for you to employ principles from that dusty degree you haven’t used in 5 years. It’s time to lower the cost of production to increase profits if you know what I mean. It’s time to learn how to slay on a budget and I’ll show you how.

     1. Repent From Going To Miskay

Now, I know that you love the feeling of wearing expensive clothes and saying ‘I got it from Miskay’ when your friends ask, but darling if we’re being honest, you just slashed your feeding money for the month in half just to get that silk dress. Now tell me how you’re going cut up that silk dress to make jollof rice or use the straps for pasta dinner. Not possible right? Now listen, na mumu dey go boutique. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the phrase a million times and you never thought it should apply to you but it should. See that N14,000 you just spent on one dress? You could use it to go to Balogun market and select beautiful clothes that cost less than a tenth of that amount. Think about it,1 dress or 20 outfits?

     2. The Early Bird Catches The Worm

So you’ve overcome that sin of spending outrageous amounts on clothes, it’s time to discuss strategy. I know you are only discovering this and I hate to break it to you, but so many of your sisters have found this holy grail of slaying on a budget, so it is now a matter of who gets the best outfits first. At this time, you must muster every iota of energy you have to get up early and get to the market before the first bale of clothes drops. Trust me, this is where the strength of a woman is tested, this is where you ask the important questions, this is where you make the decision to save money and still slay because even by 6 am, your sisters are armed to the teeth in crocs and jean shorts, waiting for the seller to open bale. If you can’t drag clothes and pluck someone’s eyes, my dear, try and go early or better still, give off some class and secure the number of a seller that brings those clothes you like. Give her the cash madam vibe and she will call you when she has new stock. Let the ants scramble for crumbs because you don’t deal with peasants. Go girl!

     3.  Have A Mental Picture Of What You Need To Complement Your Wardrobe

Now, this right here is important. It’s not enough to go to the market and buy cheaper clothes, it won’t make any sense if you bought them and you can’t pair them with one another. That’s a punishment beyond measure. So you have a generous amount of pink shirts or tops, now what you need would be complementary pants to go with them. Make sure you use one stone to kill 17 birds. Buy a pair of black jeans that you know will work well with 4 blouses, or brown pants you can pair with those nude shirts you bought last year. This is how you slay! We must be prepared! Don’t go buying a floral top because it looks pretty, but you only have striped pants or skirts to go with it, you’re not here to make a fashion statement, leave that for the Hadids and Jenners.

     4. Haggle Until The Seller Looks At you Like They’ll Beat You

Hold on! Don’t stop reading yet, let me explain. You came to the market with N14,000 and I know I said you should plan for less than a tenth of the money per outfit but it’s not a rule. If the seller says N1400 for a top, please tell her N200, start from rock bottom. Drake said he started from the bottom and now he’s here and he’s Drake o, I suggest you start from hell to price them. They’ll look at you like they’ll maim you when you turn your back o but my dear, he that is in you is greater than he that is in the world. Tell them that N200 and believe it. You are fighting to slay, for your soft life, own it and stare them down in the eyes, they will yield and who knows, you could go home with twice the amount of clothes you bargained for. Be a smart woman.

     5. Clean Your New Clothes And Smile With Satisfaction

You succeeded in leaving the way of Miskay, you have fought sleep and tiredness, strategically picked the clothes you need, and had a stare down with the seller like you’re in the wild wild west, you’re now down to sorting your good buys. I’m sure you gave yourself a pat on the back and even smiled at yourself in the mirror, now you must package yourself like you’re not regular because really, you aren’t. Start with sorting the clothes that may have stains or need amendments. The ones that need mending should be attended to, take care of stains first before washing every single thing you bought. Go on to iron your chiffon, silk, and cotton materials. Hang them up with their corresponding clothes and smile at your wardrobe like an African mother whose child finally became a doctor.

If you play your cards right, you can be sure to be the babe on everybody’s lips. Even with all your effort and strategy, your appearance will not be complete without a healthy dose of confidence. You already look like you own the room, now act like it. Step on their necks girl! Stay safe, stay ‘wickedly’ fine.

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